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Addressing some stereotypes:
1. Not every homosexual knows every homosexual...we know a lot but not everyone of them.
2. Just because we exchange numbers does not mean we are going to sleep together
3. Not all Lesbians drink all night party, party all night and are dramatic (well, not all)
4. We are not forming a secret army to take over the world
Its 10:31 on a Sunday night, my phone sounds. I raise up and look at the message, "Are you ladies coming to the club tonight?", I text back, "No, not tonight." We don't go to the club often, but that seems to have only increased people's intrigue with us. It is Monday night, I have to work tomorrow and I look over at the lovely lady in my arms. She isn't feeling, well, she has been fighting what we think is the flu for a couple days. I kiss her on the forehead to feel her temperature and yet not disturb her much either. She pulls me closer, "Who was that?". I answer, "It was Candace, wanting to know if we were coming out tonight." My lady, takes a deep relaxing breath, "Oh," and back to sleep she goes.
Stereotypes of homosexual couples have flown through society like wild flowers. Do we occasionally go to clubs? Yes, some more than others and some not at all. So do heterosexuals. One of the stereotypes of Lesbians is that we party all the time, drink until late night early morning and we are dramatic. Well, I must say I have seen more than my share of lesbians that can drink anyone under the table, I however am, not one of them and I am not alone. There are plenty of us out there that one shot is enough and we are good for the night, not too much more and we are going to be seeing the porcelain god. (By the way, for those of you that don't have a sense of humor, we are not literally praying to the toilet, it is just an expression for kneeling down in front of the toilet to say hello again to something you ate earlier, so please, do not say that this is proof that lesbians are sacrilegious and worshiping idols).
Dramatic, yes we can be. Lets face it get a group of women in a room and either you are in for the best time of your life or a dramatic event. Being a lesbian has nothing to do with that, being a woman does. Yet, here I was at 10:30 at night getting a text message from another woman, who by the way is a lesbian too, and my girlfriend did not get all beside herself over it despite the rumors of how we are said to behave. We can socialize with other women without there being drama, well, as much as any heterosexual woman can.
Not every gay person knows each other, though I can see where this stereotype derives from. The text message I got, was from a girl that I have already identified as Candace. I have never actually met Candace. She knows who I am, she could probably spot me out in a crowd. But you see, one thing that I have noticed in the homosexual community is networking is important, for one big reason...support and really survival. Candace and I have mutual friends, and as a result some how our numbers were exchanged.
Our numbers were not exchanged for any reason other than for support in the event that we need it, i.e. public reticule for who we are and needing someone to talk to, unemployment suddenly because of being gay and needing a gay friendly work place to work, etc. Perhaps if a heterosexual observed how easily we exchange number they would think that we are doing so perhaps with sexual motives in mind, that simply is not true. I think even thinking so is childish but I try to understand that in a heterosexuals lifestyle/culture if a man and a woman meet and exchange numbers fairly quickly rumors certainly start about the two. Such an exchange happens all the time in the homosexual culture but for reasons that some don't understand.
We are not forming a secret underground army to take over the heterosexual world and corrupt it. We may be guilty of coming together to give support in a world that is attacking us however, we are trying to survive without literally getting killed. This world really is a scary place if you are a homosexual. An outcast in most places you go, it is nice to know there are people out there that you can just text or call up and not feel like a disease, even if you have never seen their face or met them...all of you here on Newsvine should understand that, I am sure you have friends on here that you consider real friends, yet you have never met. People on here that support something you do, and when you see them commenting on the same seed as you. you feel not so alone, the same thing in the gay community. Here is another example of when it is important, another lesbian who I just barely met, text me about a week ago, she really likes this girl and wanted to do something special for her to show her, she was asking me for advice. Odd? Perhaps to a heterosexual, heterosexuals can pretty much ask anyone for love advice without someone looking at them like they have lobsters coming out of their ears, we however, cannot.
One thing is for sure, living the life of a homosexual there are things you learn not to take for granted, friends tops that list. Finding people to talk to, to understand you, to go to when you need relationship advice or even to call because four straight men are shouting that you just haven't been with the right man and you are scared. Having someone to pick up the phone and get help. I was in a situation once...my "best friend" came and picked me up. I had just told her a few days earlier that I was gay. She seemed cool with it. I got in the car and we met this other girl out. They started asking me a lot of curiosity questions, some pretty childish ones that I expected. Eventually they said, they just needed to get me drunk and get the other girls brother over there to F%^k me. Sorry for the language but you have to understand the seriousness of the situation. Now, here I was without a car. I was just out, and had not developed a lot of friends in the gay community, I just hadn't been part of it. But I knew one person, the person that I had fallen in love with. I text her what was going on. She was a good half hour away, but only ten minutes passed and I received a text from her that said go outside, there is a blue Honda Accord with a Georgia Bulldog decal on it, they are there to get you out of there. I did...I went outside and there was the car, there were three lesbians that I had never met in the car, I got in and they took me home. They could have gone in and started a fight, they could have gone in and caused a scene, but the goal was simply, not let another lesbian be put in a bad place, a place where she was uncomfortable.
Are we just like everyone else? Yes, mostly. There is a culture that I think heterosexuals misinterpret and a culture that has developed only due to the persecution that we have faced and our attempt to make others feel more comfortable. That culture however is nothing like homophobic people make it out to be. .
